A Visit From Japan and Iran’s AI Lego Media Empire
Life during Trumptime 3/16/26 - 3/22/26
This week I’m thinking about distractions.
No one should be “monitoring the situation” if they’re not paid to do so, but world circumstances have made it impossible to look away. How many will die? When will it end? What new obscenity will we be forced to swallow with a grin? These are questions we’re all grappling with right now, the questions that have created a world where The Wall Street Journal is explaining why Iran keeps releasing AI-generated Lego videos.
Here’s what kept me sane this past week: the success of the excellent Project Hail Mary and the sheer excellence of the video game Marathon. Project Hail Mary is an original film not based on an existing IP that shot almost everything in camera. The alien co-star is a puppet. It’s been so long since I’ve seen a big budget film that felt grounded in reality that I had forgotten how good it is. Go see it.
Marathon is a video game about learning to accept death and loss while listening to a corporate executive wax poetic about a drinkable cheeseburger.
The game is best with friends, just like the drinkable cheeseburger.
3/16/26
The week kicked off with the US Transportation Department stripping 200,000 immigrant truck drivers of their commercial driver’s license. According to reporting from The Washington Post, the new rule will wipe out 5% of all commercial driver’s licenses in America.
The Post told the story of Aleksei Semenovskii, a 41-year old Russian asylum seeker.
“This [rule] is devastating for my family,” said Semenovskii, breaking down in tears. “I’ve built this small business relying on my driving privileges. I didn’t think anyone could take this away from me for just being an immigrant.”
3/17/26
Joe Kent, a former Army Ranger, resigned as Director of the National Counterterrorism Center.
“I cannot in good conscience support the ongoing war in Iran,” Kent said in his resignation letter. Iran posed no imminent threat to our nation, and it is clear that we started this war due to pressure from Israel and its powerful American lobby.”
Later that day, Director of National Intelligence Tulsi Gabbard—who hates wars unless they’re waged on behalf of Bashar Al Assad—announced her unwavering support of President Trump. It was impossible not to read it as a response to Kent.
“As our Commander in Chief, he is responsible for determining what is and is not an imminent threat, and whether or not to take action he deems necessary to protect the safety and security of our troops, the American people and our country,” she said. “After carefully reviewing all the information before him, President Trump concluded that the terrorist Islamist regime in Iran posed an imminent threat and he took action based on that conclusion.”
The next day, the FBI announced it had launched an investigation into Kent over improper handling of classified material.
3/18/26
Sen. Markwayne Mullin, heir apparent to Kristi Noem, sat through a round of Senate grilling today as part of the confirmation process for Director of Homeland Security. Opinions from the Congressional crowd were mixed. Mullin once threatened to fight a representative of the International Brotherhood of Teamsters during a Senate hearing.
“I know that is a good man,” Sen. Bernie Moreno said, pointing at Mullin. “I will vote for you. Our Republican colleagues will vote for you. You will get confirmed and you will make this country proud Markwayne, thank you and thank you for standing by a great American person.”
Sen. Rand Paul wasn’t sold. A neighbor assaulted Paul in 2017, breaking five of his ribs and causing an injury that necessitated lung surgery. At the time, Mullin sided with Paul’s attacker in interviews and called Paul a snake.
Paul used the confirmation hearing to grill Mullin about the comments and make a point about his character. “In the days after the fight, you did many interviews in which you justified the violence as historically justified by precedents, such as caning and dueling,” Paul said. “Is it today your opinion that the caning of Charles Sumner was not only justified, but argues still for resolving our political differences with violence?”
“What I would simply point out to some of the rules that still apply to this body,” Mullin said. “For instance, dueling with two consenting adults is still there. I was pointing out what is still—”
“It’s been illegal for 170 years. There’s no precedent for legal dueling,” Paul said, cutting him off. “Even then they fled the country. Do you realize that the man that beat Charles Sumner with a cane, he beat him till he was unconscious. You know why no Senators intervened? Because his friend held a gun on the other Senators, and he kept beating him and beating him until he crushed his skull. That’s what you’re insinuating as the precedent of the Senate and that’s what you live by. That is a very, very dangerous sentiment.”
Mullin sat in silence for a beat.
“After a half a dozen victory lap interviews where you pointed out that the Union guy was just lucky that fear kept him from standing up, Dana Bash asked you if you have any regrets about bringing violence to a Senate committee, and you replied that you have no regrets. Today you’ve said you have no regrets about being happy, being completely understanding, why I was attacked from behind. You had no regrets about instigating a brawl in a Senate committee hearing. Are those still your opinions?”
“Mr. Chairman, you’re going to have your opinion. I’m going to have mine. As the Secretary of Homeland Security, I’m going to bring peace of mind and security to this country, and I’m going to stay laser focused on that,” Mullin said.
3/19/26
Trump hosted Japanese Prime Minister Sanae Takaichi at the White House and made a Pearl Harbor joke while taking questions from the press. A Japanese reporter asked Trump why he hadn’t told America’s allies about the plan to attack Iran.
“Well one thing: you don’t wanna signal too much, y’know? When we go in, we went in very hard. And we didn’t tell anybody about it because we wanted surprise. Who knows better about surprise than Japan? OK?” Trump said, spreading his hands before him while people in the room laughed. “Why didn’t you tell me about Pearl Harbor, OK? Right? He’s asking me, no—you believe in surprise, I think, much more so than us and we had to surprise ‘em. And we did. And because of that surprise, we knocked out, the first two days we probably knocked out 50% of what we—and much more than we anticipated. If I go and tell everybody about it, it’s no longer a surprise. Right?”
As a brief reprieve from the horror, we must remember that good things are still possible in America. The same day as Trump’s Pearl Harbor joke, Joseph “Afroman” Foreman won a free speech case against seven sheriff’s officers in Ohio. In 2022, the Adams County Sheriff’s Office in Ohio raided his home. They found no evidence of a crime. Afroman used security footage from the raid to make music videos mocking the police. Seven of the officers sued Afroman for invading their privacy.
They lost. The entire trial is incredible. Highlights include retired deputy Shawn Cooley being forced to respond to being called “Lemon Pound Cake” and the ex-wife of a different deputy explaining that the music videos had nothing to do with her divorce.
3/20/26
Treasury Secretary Scott Bessent announced that some sanctions on Iranian oil would be lifted to help ease pressure on the oil market caused by America’s war on Iran.
“At present, sanctioned Iranian oil is being hoarded by China on the cheap. By temporarily unlocking this existing supply for the world, the United States will quickly bring approximately 140 million barrels of oil to global markets, expanding the amount of worldwide energy and helping to relieve the temporary pressures on supply caused by Iran,” Bessent said in a post on X. “In essence, we will be using the Iranian barrels against Tehran to keep the price down as we continue Operation Epic Fury.”
The New York Times had a horrifying story about Paolo Zampolli, a former modeling agent and Trump ally.
“Paolo Zampolli, a former modeling agent turned presidential special envoy, had learned that his Brazilian ex-girlfriend was in a Miami jail, arrested on charges of fraud at her workplace. They had been in a custody battle over their teenage son. Now he saw an opportunity.
He reached out to a top official at Immigration and Customs Enforcement, explaining that his ex was in the country illegally, according to records obtained by The New York Times and a person familiar with the communications. Could she be put in ICE detention? That could help him get his son back.
The official, David Venturella, promptly called the agency’s Miami office to ensure that ICE agents would pick up the woman from the jail before she was released on bail, according to the records and a person with knowledge of the conversation who requested anonymity to discuss it. During the call, Mr. Venturella noted that the case was important to someone close to the White House.”
3/21/26
Robert Mueller died on March 20. He was 81 years old and had lived with a Parkinson’s diagnosis since 2021. Trump gave his obituary for the man, such as it was, the following day.
“Robert Mueller just died. Good, I’m glad he’s dead. He can no longer hurt innocent people!” Trump said in a post on Truth Social.
3/22/26
The State Department issued a “Worldwide Caution” notice to Americans.
“The Department of State advises Americans worldwide, and especially in the Middle East, to exercise increased caution. Americans abroad should follow the guidance in security alerts issued by the nearest U.S. embassy or consulate,” the notice said. “Periodic airspace closures may cause travel disruptions. U.S. diplomatic facilities, including outside the Middle East, have been targeted. Groups supportive of Iran may target other U.S. interests overseas or locations associated with the United States and/or Americans throughout the world.”